Saturday 12 September 2009

Apostolicam! Noooooooooooooooo! Why?! Why?!



One of my fish has died! Details of how this fishicide occured are sketchy, but the first suspicion has to be a brutal assault by one of the fish on Apostolicam. I've stuck 'Police Line Do Not Cross' tape all around the fish tank and sealed off the area, erecting a small floating tent to house some forensic fish to investigate. I don't know how it happened but eye witnesses accounts suggest that the assault occured after Apostolicam suggested that Mass in the Extraodinary Form was "just a load of Latin gobbledegook" and he hated it when the Priest celebrated Ad Orientem because he "turns his back on me." One of the other fish took exception to Apostolicam's misunderstanding and lost his temper and fishously attacked him. When I arrived on the scene Apostolicam was unable to swim and was floating around on his back and side struggling to breathe. Please pray for him in his journey in the next life and his journey in this life down the pipes of the toilet and sewer sytem of Brighton. Flushing him was not easy for me. May he rest in peace. The remaining fish are now staring at me and making me feel uneasy, as if somehow I have murdered Apostolicam. I'm concerned they are now in mourning. What was I meant to do!? Leave the poor fish, who you probably half-killed, floating around having something akin to an extreme asthmatic episode?!

5 comments:

pelerin said...

Laurence - you don't appear to be having much success with your new pets - commiserations. Are you sure you are feeding them regularly? It is beginning to sound like Agatha Christie's book 'Ten little ....' (can't remember the new pc title but you'll know which one I mean). At this rate the tank will be empty by Christmas!

Anonymous said...

Worry not! I was bought up in the belief that if mummy flushed the 'sleeping' fish down the toilet it would get better once it got back to the sea.

Physiocrat said...

You might have been a bit hasty. I found a dead goldfish lying in the gutter outside my house. I put it in a saucepan of water and it dropped to the bottom and lay on its side. left it for a couple of hours and when I came back it was swimming around lethargically.

I took it to the aquarium shop and they looked after it for a couple of months, by which time it had recovered and was sold.

~Joseph the Worker said...

Sorry to hear about your fish. I was distraught when I lost mine a couple years ago.

gemoftheocean said...

:-D I take it Blessed Blake of Brighton wouldn't offishiate.

The Pope Who Won't Be Buried

It has been a long time since I have put finger to keyboard to write about our holy Catholic Faith, something I regret, but which I put larg...