Wednesday 26 August 2009

An Agnostic, an Anglican, a Pentecostal and a Catholic Walk into a Bar...



...Barman says, "What'll you be having?" The agnostic says, "Give me a moment, I'm not quite sure." The Anglican says, "Can I have a pint of shandy? I can't take the strong stuff, I like it watered down a lot!" The Pentecostal says, "Give me a spirit! Any spirit!" The barman turns to the Catholic and asks, "And what'll you be having?" The Catholic replies, "Probably a very, very long evening."

The Windmill is the pub to be seen if you are a St Mary Magdalen parishioner since we usually go over there after Mass on Sunday and have very loud discussions on the Catholic Faith, making several people around us feel mildly uncomfortable or bewildered. I met an Anglican friend in there last night for a drink and a chat. I then went outside for a cigarette and met a Pentecostal lady and a 33-year-old man who heard the Pentecostal lady and I singing a couple of Smith's songs and who decided to join us inside...for what turned into a 'religious debate.'

Largely, the agnostic chap was the one doing the questioning and the answers were really as much as one would expect. The Anglican didn't really say very much at all, the Pentecostal lady wanted to talk about the Bible and her experiences of the Holy Spirit or more specifically, the 'power of the Holy Spirit,' eventually making it appear that the Holy Spirit is a force which quite literally possesses your physical body and does strange things to it, and then there was the Catholic, that's me, who talked about the formation of the early Church and the Holy Faith being One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic, how the Church was built by Our Lord on the Rock of St Peter and how even St Paul warned the Early Church against heresy and schism.

What was interesting was that the agnostic chap was very interested in the different views and was, I think, searching, like we all are, for answers. It turned out that he had experienced a very religious upbringing by parents in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses, and had experienced a very 'biblical' upbringing. His parents treated him terribly as a child, abused him and his brother in particular, horrifically, had locked him in a basement and fed him through a letterbox and he escaped at the age of 16. Social services had done little to help him and his foster parents turned out to be no more caring than his parents. Later in life he was homeless for 3 years. He is now an artist working in Shoreham and given all he went through as a child and teenager now seems to be a charming, balanced and caring individual.

We talked later at the Pentecostal lady's house about the Church, God, sexuality, marriage and quite a lot really, topics which we discussed more at length at his place, since he was kind enough to allow me to crash at his pad for the night, gave me a cup of tea in the morning and paid my rail fare back to Brighton. He was married in an Anglican church but the marriage broke down after a few years. He now has a good relationship with a long term girlfriend. Today I am feeling the effect of 4 pints of Guinness, a glass of cider and two tequila's on my fragile head.

Let me finish by saying that it is in the spirit of ecumenism that I rejoice in the fact that out of the Anglican, the Pentecostal and the Catholic, the person that the agnostic found most accessible, interesting and charitable was the Catholic. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Thanks again for putting me up, Bro. God knows I needed a shower. May God bless you, keep you and Our Lady watch over you and protect you always.

5 comments:

Jackie Parkes MJ said...

Were you drunk?

The Bones said...

I can't remember. Okay, yes, yes I was.

Unknown said...

Sounds like you all had an interesting and fun evening. God does work in mysterious ways.

Richard Collins said...

It was the tequila talking! Stick to Guinness; it's a traditional Catholic drink.
Cider is for the happy clappies!

Dominic said...

What a fantastic story! Sounds like something Hilaire Belloc would have written about...a latter-day Four Men, and in the same county to boot!

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