Chickens in Uproar Over Griffin Egg Scandal

Chickens are said to be outraged by the egg attack on Nick Griffin, Leader of the British National Party.

One chicken, Mrs I. Peck Byrdfeed of West Grinstead said, "As a member of the chicken community I am appalled that what could potentially have been one of my eggs has been associated with the BNP. I am shocked and appalled. I mean, things are bad enough for us chickens as it is. Already we have our eggs nicked off us by farmers on a daily basis. Some of my mates live in the most appalling conditions already in battery pens where you couldn't swing a mouse, let alone a cat. So, we don't welcome news that those eggs are now being so inextricably linked to the leader of a neo-fascist brigade of Union Jack waving thugs."

Nick Griffin, who was the victim of the egg hurling incident outside Westminster, where he had been situated as part of an elaborate publicity stunt, said, "I was splattered. It's a very sad day for British democracy. It seems the ruling political parties who want this to carry on have lost sight of what democracy really is."

The National Society for the Rights of Chickens released a statement, "We do not wish to be associated with an extreme right-wing party who, upon election would doubtless launch a 'voluntary resettlement' programme on some of our most vulnerable feathered friends, who have migrated to this country, not for economic reasons, but because it is in their nature to do so. Also, it has to be remembered that they may face cold weather and possibly torture should they return at this season. The rights of chickens, fowl, game and all birds must be protected from enemies of democracy and freedom such as Nick Griffin and his ilk."

Another chicken from Aylesford, a member of one of a large contingent of ethnic minority chickens, spoke of his distress of this unsavoury incident and offered his thoughts on the current standing of the BNP in British politics, "I don't know. You have to ask the question, what came first? The renewed interest in the BNP or the social unrest caused by years of Labour abandoning its core voters in chasing the C1/C2 demographic, speaking up for everyone but their actual traditional support base who now live in even more poverty than they did before. I don't know...it's a chicken and egg situation, I guess."